oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
