i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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