How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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