I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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