Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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