i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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