dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize