remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
