but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
