I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
