What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
