yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
