dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
