we have officially lost it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
