you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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