it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
