guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Randomize
