I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
