some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
