he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My life is pants optional.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
