There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
