what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize