I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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