Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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