ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
