Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
