is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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