I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
