In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
