well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
