You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
