Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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