I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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