Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
