weddingsv make me drug and hornr
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
