The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
