i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
