i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
