this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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