The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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