so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
sarcasm needs its own font
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
