You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How's work?
Spinning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
