I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize