why didn't you poke me back
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
