let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
