I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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