i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize