i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
