i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
