He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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