i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
