We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
