SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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