I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Randomize
