I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
