help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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