Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
