it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
