She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
