dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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