its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
