there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
