i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
