i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
