I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
