i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
