Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
