Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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