i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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