In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
A bitchslap is in order.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
