At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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