Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
