you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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