the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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