My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize