I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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